Sitting at His feet

'Would you like to be frank in telling the Lord the story of your life so far?' This is a question in the study I have been doing this week, so being a good (?) student I thought I would have an honest dialogue with my Heavenly Father, even though it is the night before the Zoom class.

The chat with Him was a mixed description of childhood pain, thankfulness how God had kept me safe despite my own plans to the contrary. Then the line in the sand drawn in my life on the day I realised there was no way I belonged to God and was just a counterfeit Christian, working my own efforts to be a good girl. I knew my heart was changed overnight when I acknowledged and received all Jesus had done on the Cross for me.

 
One problem was that the desire to be popular from the old life grew as I just wanted to please my Heavenly Father so I worked for the Church, rushing round helping people and more and more activity, even going behind the Iron Curtain, Burma, and women's ministry in prisons. All the time thinking this was my value.

Wrong wrong wrong I knew in my head my whole value is in who I am in Jesus Christ. But what about my heart? All this effort without much prayer or checking His plans first.

I am so valuable God gave His Son Jesus to pay the horrendous price of His whole life in such a foul way on the Cross so I could have the amazing life I have had but more than that so I can live with Him forever with no tears or pain or suffering or separation.

This 'lockdown' is such a great time to do a spring clean of my heart, Ezekiel 11:19. An opportunity to check out my motives for all my activities and relationships, what is of eternal value? What changes does Father want to make, what am I holding onto? what am I not willing to let go of? 

Let us move on and grow up by sitting at His feet to take in all He wants to say to us and grow in His way, then go out and be His Light in this darkness.