Then the JUDGEMENT

 When I wrote the two posts about 'Heaven here we come' little did I know of the horror that was coming. I got weaker and weaker, losing weight and had differing opinions from the doctors. I was admitted to hospital after Christmas for various investigations. My family were very supportive the only problem was that my son collapsed on January 2nd and he was in a different hospital. Heaven seemed very imminent for us both. I had hoped that I would be 'the woman of power for the hour' sharing the gospel with anyone who would listen in another bed. It wasn't like that at all, the sky felt like brass, I didn't know the power or the Presence of the Holy Spirit at all. I prayed for one other precious lady and the answer never came as I walked up and down the ward with her. 

The fear I had was tangible, so real. I couldn't imagine that if I was dying I was going to enter into the Presence of Jesus as when my faith was tested I was sadly lacking. Judgement seemed frightening.

Lovely people visited me and I shared my crisis of faith and was totally honest. They pointed me to some different giants of the faith who had messed up. When I came home starting to mend physically, I asked the Father how to mend my relationship with Him and He directed me to take up the 'Bible In One Year'. Slowly but surely as my body restored so did my spirit and Father had used the whole experience to help me recognise my total need for Him on an hour by hour basis. I no longer needed to walk in self-sufficiency, prayerless activities, and busyness to look good, but needed the Holy Spirit for everything. 

So I picked up my terror about the Judgement and went through some verses. I know that when we repent AND turn away from our sins, even habitual ones, He forgives them, 1John 1:9. 'He also doesn't treat us as our sins deserve, nor pay us back in full for our wrongs. ...... And as far as sunrise is from sunset He has separated us from our sins.' Psalm 103:12 Msg. This so encourages me but also there are verses, 'For we will all stand before the Judgement seat of God.......' Romans 14:10 - 12 of this passage 'So then, each of us will give a personal account of himself to God.'  This is where the problem comes, I know me and I don't feel so bad about what I did before I gave my life to Jesus, but I feel so much shame about the things I have done and said since I knew better. I know the Word says 'don't gossip' 'don't slander others'. 'I want to do what is good, but I don't. I don't want to do what is wrong, but I do it.' Romans 7:19. But on the other side of the scales Psalm 103:12 - 14 'He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west. The Lord ..... is tender and compassionate to those who fear Him. For He knows how weak we are; He remembers we are only dust.' AND joy of joys 'I- yes, I alone - will blot out your sins for My own sake and will never think of them again' Isaiah 43:25. 

So we have to take the judgement seriously but keep it in balance according to the Word. We are accountable to God for every wrong we have done, but as we take responsibility for our thoughts and actions we have a clear way to the throne of God to confess them, not hide them, and receive all that Jesus has done to cover them and remove them just like the Lamb of God in the Old Testament. His grace is amazing but not an excuse to keep on sinning. So when I was in hospital I knew I had been walking in gluttony for years, yoyo dieting, and making food the idol of my life, but coming to the edge of life caused by my attitude to food has allowed me to focus on my responsibility to my Heavenly Father and to myself as the Temple of the Holy Spirit, and family. It truly has been life changing and the thought of me standing in front of the Judge of all the earth with all this sin has caused me to clean out the dirty larder of my soul. I have to ask the Holy Spirit when shopping, when going into the cupboard and fridge, and if I slip, turn away from that food, and be thankful.

When I stand before the judgement seat of Christ I want to know I am covered in His robe of righteousness that Jesus paid for with His Blood. But like Paul, I know it is a daily choice, and my motive now is far more 'no secrets' and I want to make choices that please Him not my dead flesh. There is so much to learn in His Word about the Judgement and our priority is to be ready at any time like the wise virgins in Matthew 25:6 'Look the bridegroom is coming'.   

'Now all glory to God, Who is able to keep us from falling away and will bring us with great joy into His glorious Presence without a single fault. All glory to Him Who alone is God, our Saviour through Jesus Christ our Lord. All Glory, majesty, power, and authority are His before all time, and in the present, and beyond all time!' Jude 1:24,25. ARE WE READY?

After Resurrection - Feed My lambs

 When I was first asked to do something for the women in my church in South Wales in 1993, I tried with my childish faith to ask the Father what was His plan for me. I knew I loved many of the women but I needed His plan. The first Bible verse that I got, that really jumped off the page to me, was the story of Jesus talking to Peter privately after He had risen from the dead, John 21:15-17. Peter had been warned by Jesus that he would betray His Lord but Peter adamantly denied he would do any such thing.

But after Jesus was viciously dragged away by the soldiers after Judas' kiss of betrayal, Peter in his usual impulsive way used his sword to cut off Malchus' ear, but Jesus healed it straight away, John 18:10,11. This resulted in Peter doing a runner. Then to add insult to injury he was seen by three different groups of people who accused Peter of being a Galilean  and a disciple of Jesus, John 18:25-27. He denied he knew Jesus, three times.

After the horrendous crucifixion, then the fantastic Resurrection, Peter and his friends had returned to what they knew, fishing. They never knew where Jesus would turn up next. Peter must have wondered even if  Jesus would have him back after his denial? This time Jesus turned up on the shore and told them where to fish. He then cooked breakfast for them. This was reminding them that although they had been through the worst trauma of their lives, lost their rabbi and they didn't yet understand what this new life was going to look like, He was still going to lead them every step of the way.

Jesus asks Peter 'do you love Me more than these?'

Such a loaded question, do you unconditionally love Me more than the fishing business? more than your work colleagues? Peter replies 'Yes Lord, You know that I love You.' Jesus says 'Feed My lambs' 
Jesus asks 'Simon son of John , do you love Me?' 'Yes Lord, you know that I love You.' 'Take care of My sheep.' 

The third time Jesus asked Peter the same question and Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him a third time, and Jesus said 'Feed My sheep.' It was important that Peter saw that Jesus was reinstating him after his three denials. He was commissioning him to do the work that Jesus had started, 'feed My lambs', the new believers. Also 'feed My sheep', the more long term followers. Peter was beginning to see the vision Father God had for his future. From the example of following Jesus for three years, he had a small idea of the life changing  message. He also knew when Jesus finally left the earth He would send the promised Holy Spirit to help complete the work of preaching the Gospel to the ends of the earth and making disciples of Jesus Christ.

And so 'Joy for Life' began to feed the sheep and encourage them to pass the life of Jesus on to their lambs. What a challenge to make disciples in our local area, in our city, country and to the ends of the earth. www.joyforlife.org