The Wall

I hit it, it hurts, I have nothing more in the tank!

but I must keep going---- what will people say if I am not at the next meeting? the next appointment ----- I have felt like this before and managed to push one foot in front of the other! As my granddaughter says who ran the London Marathon 'the Wall feels like you don't have any energy and don't really know how you're going to keep going!'

I feel so sad, I have so much to be thankful for, so why do I feel so miserable? Where is God in all of this? It hurts, everything! my psychobabble is ridiculous and just goes round and round. My body wants to stop, get off the treadmill of life. there is no strength, the pain is too much, I am on my own for this, people have heard my complaints over and over, they don't need it again.

Help! Help!Help!

This is the Marathon of 'life'. I know about the victory at the end, the crown I will receive if I can finish well. The 'well done you good and faithful servant'! But how can I get from here to there?

So I choose 'time out'! Can I learn how to not go this way again? Please Lord.
I humble myself and ask for prayer, admitting where I am at, not pretending to be the 'woman of power for the hour'!
I go away to a solitary place, reduce my calorie intake and disconnect the TV. That is a start! I have asked Father God to show me what study to do and any books to take and as I spend the time with Him alone and sleeping,......

I realise He has set me up to focus solely on His love for me and His close intimate relationship with me, through 'Song of Songs'. As I worship Him and allow Him to change my heart, I can feel the cloud lift. 'How enriched are they who find their strength in the Lord; within their hearts are the highways of holiness! Even when their paths wind through the dark valley of tears, they dig deep to find a pleasant pool where others find only pain. He gives to them a brook of blessing filled from the rain of outpouring. They grow stronger and stronger with every step forward' Psalm 84:5-7 I am learning to just 'be' His child and He doesn't love me more for being a 'doer'
Search www.joyforlife.org watch the video 'Burnout' 'Too Busy' and 'Are you a 'martyr' or a Mary?'